What if.......

The infamous “What If” game. Usually a harmless little game to pass time, have a few laughs with friends while you create complicated and unreal situations. However, there is seriously a dark side to this fucking game. Do me a favor and make sure you say game as sarcasticly as you can. The “What If” game can lead the mind to twisted and sick, almost heartbreaking, thoughts. Sometimes, my own thoughts are what hurt me the most. What if someone hated me enough to do something really mean? What if I was in the hospital? What if I was in a coma? What if… the sadistic questions could go on forever.

I promise you guys that I don't sit around waiting or forcing these thoughts. I would say they usually come when I'm laying in bed trying to sleep. My mind wanders to the moon and back collecting and trying to understand every little thing on the way. I think I need to calm the eff down and realize that it’s all good in the hood. I have a solid group of friends that honestly keep me sane when my own mind can’t handle a stupid “What If” game. YES people would visit me in the hospital. Phew. All better.

I had quite the serious talk about this with a good friend of mine today. Definitely consider him as a close friend, almost like a brother. We are too hard on ourselves boy.


"I'm just having conversations
with the thoughts in my head
all I hear are angels crying
oh won't they just sing instead"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lnio-pqLPgg

This is the first thing that popped into my head after that conversation.